To be welcoming. To be unafraid. To be a great leader.

For the first time in 29 years, a woman has been chosen as Time Magazine's "Person of the Year." This leaves most of us wondering, why such a long wait?
TIME's Radhika Jones answers: "As I wrote a few years ago, the label of Person of the Year tends to favor people with institutional power. The choice reflects TIME’s view of who affected the news and our lives, for good or for ill. Since 1986 there’ve been four U.S. Presidents in the mix—three of them two-termers, all of them men. Plus a handful of leaders of the Soviet Union (and Russia), also all men. The Pope keeps being a man. And it’s a lot easier to make news from an address like the White House, the Kremlin or the Vatican."
In a world where great leadership is generally associated with masculine "words" such as strong, powerful, assertive, competitive, and direct, it is great to see that a woman can rise to meet all of these expectations. The notion of what makes a great leader is finally changing, and as a society, we are embracing the value of more feminine traits in the role of leadership- words such as compassion and kindness, inevitably come to mind when reading Time Magazine's award to Merkel rationale:
"To be welcoming. To be unafraid. To believe that great civilizations build bridges, not walls, and that wars are won both on and off the battlefield. By viewing the refugees as victims to be rescued rather than invaders to be repelled, the woman raised behind the Iron Curtain gambled on freedom. The pastor’s daughter wielded mercy like a weapon. You can agree with her or not, but she is not taking the easy road. Leaders are tested only when people don’t want to follow. For asking more of her country than most politicians would dare, for standing firm against tyranny as well as expedience and for providing steadfast moral leadership in a world where it is in short supply, Angela Merkel is TIME’s Person of the Year."
Hats off to Merkel. And to everyone who understands the value of the feminine perspective in leadership.

Ladies and Raises: Why would anyone give you what you are not asking for?

You've been in your role for the better part of a decade and you've NEVER asked for a raise. You've also never received anything but an annual increase that barely keeps you in line with the cost of living. From your perspective (and likely that of outsiders as well...), you are clearly overdue for a review. Equally qualified peers are leap-frogging over you in terms of career advancement, and you really have no clue why or how it's happening. 
While employers generally do their best to stay atop of the change in your "compensable factors," I can tell you with certainty, that if you don't stay on top of your career advancement, no one will. After all, why would anyone give you what you are not asking for?
You've always been great at advocating for others-
Family: Kids need to make it to soccer practice? Dinner needs to be cooked? Grocery run? Your family and friends know they can always count on you. You don't think twice about having to call your office and tell them you are staying home with a sick child.
Work: Your a reliable team contributor and the high quality of your work speaks for itself. Need to pull late nights at the office? Work on weekends to make the deadline? You can be counted on to deliver.
Sadly, when it comes to advocating for ourselves and our salaries, we tend to fall short. We work hard and remain loyal, hoping that one day we will get the recognition we deserve... but we don't realize that the system is not designed to be as giving as we are.
I don't believe that there is a one-method-fit-all model to get you what you are not asking for- all industries are different, and all employers have a different culture, and everyone's relationship with their company is different. What I do know, is that if you don't know what you are worth, and you don't know how to ask for it, you are not going to get it.
Because not everyone can afford my services, I'm compiling a free road map to help women:
a) figure out what they are worth (quantitatively)
b) how to develop a unique strategy to negotiate for it
If there are any questions or anecdotes that you think are worth including, email me:
olivia@salarycoaching.com

You haven't saved enough for retirement. Now what?

It's a beautiful day out, you are at your work desk staring out the window, daydreaming about the day you no longer have to schlep in to work at 8am, and work the whole day. There are so many other things you would rather be doing. There are so many other things you should be doing. Yet based on the latest dollar figures on your retirement account, you will be chained to your desk for the rest of your life.
The sad reality is that on average, of those saving for retirement, American women between the ages of 55 and 64 have saved  69% of what their male counterparts have. This reality check becomes even more dreary when considering that today's average 65 year old woman is expected to live until she is 88.8 years old.
So you are optimistically headed to become statistical average... but realistically you're likely to end up somewhere below it. How do we stop this train wreck from happening!?

Step 1: Establish where do you stand vis-a-vis retirement right now:

a) How much do you need to retire?
b) How much do you have in your 401(k), IRA, Roth IRA, or retirement account?
c) What will you get through Social Security?

Step 2: Now that you've established how much of a shortfall you've got, lets look at how to work with what you have.  This is where you re-think your current debt and how to "bleed" less money:

a) What kind of debt do you have and how can you finish paying it? If you have any student loans left,  you probably know you have no way out but to pay them off. If you have a car loan- could you trade your car in for something equally reliable that is less expensive (and that you can hopefully payoff without incurring more debt)?
b) Housing: Can you downsize your house? Can you move to a less expensive neighborhood? This may sound drastic now, but think about the quality of life you want to lead in retirement.
c) Cut your living expenses: If you need ideas, check out Mr. Money Mustache. This guy has some very good (and some very extreme) ideas on how to cut costs and save. You can get a lot of inspiration from his website. Commuting, groceries and entertainment are just some of the areas where you can save. Budgeting is crucial- I love this website.
d) Can you negotiate a raise?  Are you underpaid and is there something that can be done about it? We can help you with this at www.salarycoaching.com.

Step 3: Re-think retirement. Your career... Act Two!

a) With life expectancy continually increasing, not many women of retirement age are actually ready to fully stop working and lounge around for another two decades. About half of individuals nearing retirement are choosing to get creative and start their own business- from baking cookies, to teaching yoga, dog-training or part-time custodial work. Either to pursue their passion, or due to financial necessity, people into their 40's are getting entrepreneurial, and even becoming millionaires.
b) Brainstorm: Engage with your peers on what you should do next.  Sites such as Vibrant Nation or Encore.org are great sources to help you brainstorm and bounce off and explore ideas.
c) Read up on it. Nancy Collamer is a well known writer in the realm of second-act or semi-retirement careers. While I have not read it yet, the reviews for her late book are quite good: Second Act Careers: 50+ Ways to Profit From Your Passions During Semi-Retirement.

While it might be a little late to make up for those unsaved dollars in your retirement account, it's not too late to think about your next steps. What would your second career look like?

Even Stars Feel the Gender Income Gap

Though I'm not one to often read tabloids, when a friend tagged me this morning on Jennifer Lawrence's "Why Do I Make Less Than My Male Costars?", my heart gave a little leap for joy. Finally! An Oscar-winning actress, a woman at "untouchable" levels is speaking about gender gap inequality. Most women have problems negotiating their salaries. The jaw dropping 78 cents for every dollar earned by men statistic includes all of us. Negotiating doesn't come naturally to women, nor is it perceived as normal behavior. As Jennifer points out, she feared that she would have been perceived as "difficult" or "spoiled" by asking for more. The sad reality is that it's not as socially acceptable to see women play hard ball. Men on the other hand are perceived as tough and "commended for being fierce and tactical."

Ladies- it couldn't be more clear- failing to negotiate is a problem that follows us from our first interview after college, through the dusk of our careers, and has repercussions all the way into retirement. Think of the cumulative impact of not negotiating your first salary will have on your retirement...

You don't have to come across as a unlikeable, difficult or spoiled to negotiate your salary. It takes you knowing your worth and knowing how to ask for it.

I know in this letter, Jennifer thinks she's the only one having this issue. But little does she know that she is echoing the same issue working women all over the world are dealing with -and not talking about-. Thank you Jennifer for sharing this issue!

The dreaded question "How much did you earn in your last job?"

You've made the interview cut. You've rehearsed multiple versions of how you are going to answer the inevitable "walk me through your resume" or "tell me about a that gap in your resume."

You ate a healthy meal the night before, skipped the glass of wine, and you even went to bed early. You've dressed to impress, you've stocked your hand bag with breath mints, spare pantyhose in case the ones you are wearing tear with your nicely manicured nails. Copies of your cover letter and resume can be found in large supply in your handbag/faux leather document holder.

The interview is going well, you're nailing all the questions and really hitting the target with all your responses. And just when you can start envisioning your career taking off at this new company, they ask that question that you were not prepared to answer:

"HOW MUCH DO/DID YOU MAKE AT YOUR CURRENT/LAST JOB?"

Your heart sinks.

You don't/didn't make enough. Not at all. Actually, it's probably a number you are quite embarrassed to share because it's well below what most people likely make in that job.

How do you answer this question without lying (making up a number) and without losing all chance of getting the job? The interviewer will likely press you on this question. This is a sure way to measure you up relative to the position. If you earn/ed much less than what they intend to pay, they'll likely question if you are indeed a good fit for the job. If you earn/ed more, then you've priced yourself out of the job because the assumption is that even if they offered you the job, you would likely not stay in the position for long.

Here are a few ways of going about it:

First thing you need to make sure- KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WORTH RELATIVE TO THE JOB. Be prepared with information to  negotiate (www.salarycoachingforwomen.com). Fully understand how you measure up to the position in question.

Then, go on to answer the question.

a) The Blunt Way: "That is highly personal and would rather not share that information at this time."

While you are completely entitled to this response, this is probably not a great idea. You've antagonized the interviewer, leaving them with the sour impression that they have transgressed into your personal space.

b) Positively Deflect, Deflect, Deflect: I offer a few ideas here, because if you deflect, the hiring manager/recruiter will likely circle back to their question a few times. You need to be prepared with a few seamless responses that will easily roll off your tongue as the pressure ratchets up each time the question circles back.

Have a few of these ready to pull out:

Round #1- If it's relatively early in the conversation, say that you would like to learn a little bit more about the position before discussing the salary topic.

Round #2- Having done your research, say something along the lines of "I know that this type of position pays between $Y and $Z, what is your range for the position?"

Round #3- If you are aware of their salary range, go for the jugular: "While I have some flexibility, based on my experience, I would expect to be at the X percentile of your range (base it on the low, mid or high part of their range, including a buffer zone around the number you are are aiming for- you need to have a solid, market based number... www.salarycoachingforwomen.com can help you)." For this last one, you need to have done your homework and be prepared to explain it. While they can always argue that your number might not "jive" with their internal equity concerns, a well done market analysis is irrefutable. If indeed they pay below the market rate, the question becomes, do you really want that job?

c) The Nuclear Option: If you think it can't harm you, then go ahead and share it. I'm not a fan of this option, even if the interviewer has the best of intentions, I view this number as a yardstick that will be used to measure you relative to the position. Your resume and the way you carry the interview should be used to judge your competence, not a dollar figure.

The idea is to get the interviewer to share the salary range before you are asked about what you earn/ed. If you can, try very your best to shift the conversation from what you currently earn, to what they are willing to pay for the position.

Thoughts and creative ideas on how to answer this dreaded question? I'd love your feedback!

2015 Women in the Workplace Report

Just in time for the official launch of www.salarycoaching.com, the Wall Street Journal published an extensive report on women being held back in the work place:

"Roughly equal numbers of men and women say they want to be promoted—78% and 75%, respectively. But as men’s desire for big jobs intensifies in the course of their careers, only 43% of women said they want to be a top executive, compared with 53% of men. Perhaps most startling, 25% of women feel their gender has hindered their progress, a perception that grows more acute once women reach senior levels."

This WSJ report is largely based on an extensive report surveying women in the workplace, that has just been released by LeanIn.org in conjunction with McKinsey and Company. Over the next few weeks, I will dive into this data and look more deeply into it. It sounds like women have made some progress in moving towards employment equality- but at this pace, we are still approximately 100 years away (according to Sheryl Sandberg from LeanIn.org).

Even the White House admits we have a problem...

"Women get fewer raises and promotions, partially because they negotiate less. But even when women do negotiate, they are likely to receive less than men or be penalized for violating social norms."

I read this sad-but-true quote from a report titled "Five Facts About Gender Pay Gap"  published back in April by White House, and authored by Betsey Johnson (member of the Council of Economic Advisors to President Obama).

While great progress is being done to regulate equal pay and access to paid leave, the gap will continue to exist as long as we don't learn how to advocate for ourselves and negotiate for what we are worth.

Because We Still Earn Less

If you ever read Dr. Seuss' The Lorax, you might be familiar with the quote: 

​“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,

Nothing is going to get better. It's not.”

Well, helping women bridge the gender income gap is a cause I really feel deeply about. For the better part of a decade, I've been reviewing position descriptions, resumes and recommending salaries. After thousands of reviews, I've come to the conclusion that even though men and women might be offered the same amount, women rarely negotiate and advocate for more than what they are initially offered, while men are not afraid to ask for a little more- thus, the gender income gap is perpetuated.  

On average, women earn 23% less than men​​ (see here and here). And while most companies try their best to encourage "equal pay" for both men and women, females are generally not as good as men when it comes to negotiating their own salary.  Sure, we are incredibly fierce at looking out for our loved ones and children, yet when it comes to ourselves- we tend to sell ourselves short at the negotiating table. 

There is an endless supply of literature on how women need to "lean in" and be more confident about going to their boss and asking for more. But too often, we (meaning us women) are all too thankful to just get the job or just get a raise. We either fear asking for more or we don't even realize that we are in a situation in which we are worth more.  

But even if we are aware of our option to negotiate, there are always insecurities that plague our thoughts- How will it come across if I ask for more? Should I be asking for more? Can they even afford paying me more? But the reality is, we should be asking the less circuitous question: 

DO I KNOW WHAT I AM WORTH?

If your answer is "YES, and I am being paid what I'm worth." - Good for you! You are part of a small minority. Now help me reach more women so that together we can close the gap. 

If your answer is "NO, I'm just getting paid what they offered- I'm just happy to be paid." Then we need to talk. 

Let's be clear- I'm not saying that every woman is being underpaid and that you need to run to your manager and ask for a raise. I'm saying YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WORTH QUANTITATIVELY. HOW DOES YOUR RESUME STACK UP TO YOUR POSITION DESCRIPTION, AND WHAT IS THE RESULTING DOLLAR FIGURE ($) FOR YOU PERFORMING THAT JOB. 

You know yourself and your experience better than anyone else- and if you don't know what you are worth, don't you think that you are sitting blindfolded at the negotiating table? The person hiring you or reviewing your position for a raise has done their homework and put a price tag on you. They likely have a salary range in mind and will likely offer you a number on the lower end of the range. Lets be honest- would you pay more money than necessary for anything? I surely wouldn't. 

But it's not much of a "negotiation" if you just walk in and accept whatever they've deemed true. Generally companies have done their due diligence and know what they are willing to pay. This is where knowing your worth comes into play. 

Here's an example of what I mean: You are being offered $44,000 per year for a new job. 

Option a) You just take it. Glad to have a job.

Option b) You've done your homework, learned how to value yourself relative to the market- and you now know that $45,000-$46,000 is better aligned given your experience. 

Asking for that extra $1000 per year will cumulatively have a BIG impact on an annual basis. That extra $1000 has a compounding effect on your year-to-year earnings, your retirement benefits, your annual increase. Heck- it can even help your daily Starbuck's fund.

Here's another example: You've worked at the company for about 7 years and other than an automatic annual increase, you've never asked for a raise. 

Option a) You don't mind it. After all, you are at least keeping up with the cost of living, right?

Option b) You begin to think you might be falling behind.  After all, haven't you become more proficient at what you do, taken on more projects, gathering 7 years worth of institutional knowledge? Might it not be time to dust off that old position description and review it relative to my current experience and expertise?

I'm on a quest to teach women the value in knowing what they are worth. Stay posted... more knowledge to come!

You can always reach me at: olivia@salarycoaching.com  and you can also check out my individualized services at www.salarycoaching.com.